Letting lemons lie

No tracking tip this week.

I have again gone without blogging so I am no longer am making promises that I will post regularly. The only good news is that I am finally moving forward with my life and things are looking up.

About all those lemons. I am finally learning to let some simply lie on the ground. I have always had problems with throwing away food and using all the lemons this poor tree overproduces seemed like something I had to do. But you know, I finally convinced myself that I CAN let some of them go.

The same goes with life’s “lemons”.  I don’t need to make lemonade out of all of them. I can accept that they are lemons and useless to dwell on it so I can acknowledge them and how difficult they are but let them go.

My friend just had her surgery for the breast cancer and all is going well. I am being supportive and cheerful for her and then going home and letting the sad go. Easier said than done but I am. It helps that she is a fighter and her prognosis is quite good.

My daughter is learning to manage her depression. I have learned that no matter how much I might want to, I have no control over her depression. All I can do is help her find and use the tools to help herself and be there with unwavering love and support. And you know what? She is managing and actually beginning to help herself and even though I will always worry, I feel hope that she will survive this.

I am doing what I want, when I want and yet still doing my mom and homemaker duties. I am writing again, an average of 600-700 words a day. I am exercising again and my health is finally turning around.

The biggest change in my life is my husband moving to another state for a new job. He is happier and, though it sounds awful, I am happier for the separation. I can take things at my own speed without having a judgmental dictator micromanaging my life. Ok maybe this is a bit of an exaggeration but the truth is, I was living HIS life, not my own. I was what he thought I should be and not myself. Now I am freer than I have ever been. I don’t know if this separation will help us find each other again or put the final nails in the coffin but either way, I am no longer just sitting here complaining. I am creating a life for myself.

And so far, that life looks pretty good. I know there will be more lemons but if I can’t make lemonade, I know now that I can just let them lie.