Oops again

Well here it is, another blog, over a MONTH after I said I would write, write, write. Life again got in the way.

In some ways, I am okay with this but in some I am not. For example, part of it was the Scottsdale Arabian horse show with my daughter in which she took home several firsts and championship for herself as well as many firsts, a champion and a reserve champion for the other horses she rode. She might even win high point youth rider for the division! But we must wait until the points are added. Ok ok, enough bragging about my awesome kid.

As terrific as the show was, it took everything I had for two solid weeks (actually 16 days). I had two days off in the middle but that was just to catch up on laundry and other things that run a household. But, again, to see my daughter’s face when the championship was announced was worth every second I spent mucking out stalls and cleaning whatever horse items come within reach.

There are several drawbacks to the show, however. The most important was that my son came home for one of the weekends and I didn’t get to spend any time with him. He is as awesome and talented as my daughter but still looking for his particular niche in life. Right now I just enjoy what little time he is home from college by playing chess and various strategy games with him, but I missed this go.

Also I am now scurrying to accomplish all those things I have not done, including cleaning my refrigerator of left overs that have started sprouting appendages. Hm, maybe if I just leave them for another week they will crawl away on their own! (Sorry, old joke!)

One thing that did happen in this past month I haven’t decided yet is good or bad. My husband has accepted a job in another state. In most ways this is great news! It pays more, he hates his current job, and is a great company which he wants to work at until he retires.

The bad: I don’t want to go. I want to support my husband and I am so very proud of him and how hard he works. But to be perfectly honest, right at this moment, it would be no hardship for me to stay here and have him live elsewhere. He has traveled extensively for years and I am used to him being gone.

But that is not entirely all. For any of you who have read my previous blogs, you know that our marriage is very rocky right now. I have had much reflection time in this past month and have come to a realization:

Up until now, I have not had a life of my own. I have lived for my husband and children and not for myself.

Since this blog has been large enough, I will detail this in the next one so stay tuned. I promise it will not be a month before I get to it! (In fact, I have just reread my previous blog and realized that I have indeed lived up to some of my promises to myself, despite my feelings that I have not. Thus, the new blog will be out within a day or two!)