#2 – Predator birds such as hawks, falcons, owls and such will lead you to live things that will shortly be dead. Do not follow too closely as you don’t want a bird with sharp claws and beak to think you are taking their dinner. Ow.

Why was I in such a dark place and how did I get out of it? Loooong story but I will give the bare bones and go into details of each in future blogs. Would be here for days if I said everything. It was mostly a case of a thousand straws on the camel’s back and I finally got brave enough to wrestle those straws into a bundle and kindle a fire with them. This fire is my life and I am determined to be myself and not try to make others happy by being someone else.

What were those straws, you may ask?

Here are just the highlights, the large straws, not even counting the little daily stresses. Number one, my health has been bad for some time, mostly due to stress (adrenal fatigue is REAL, people!)  #2 and most recent – father died suddenly. Before that (#3) my grandmother’s growing abuse of my mother caused my mother to have nervous breakdown and had to care for them both. Before THAT, best friend passing away after a LONG fight with breast cancer. #5 (I am thinking the beginning of the major stresses) the first indication that my marriage was not all I thought it to be.

As you can see, a lot of shit. Not sure which is the best way to tell the stories. Probably how it all happened although I am not really sure how things fell out the way they did. So I was in a funk, not depressed in the clinical term but very unhappy and not even realizing it until suddenly I was happy again. And it was like a light. And not one thing but a series of wonderful experiences happening over four days.

Next blog will be an upbeat one but keep checking back for the details of the darkness. I hope someone will read them and learn how to dig themselves out of the hole before it buries them like it did to me.